Recently, I began working on a painting with no destination in mind – just thinking about some hard life questions. As I worked at the canvas, slowly squiggles and lines evolved into the shape of flowers and bright colors turned to dark, bold colors. I decided to accept what it had evolved into, not because I really like what came out, but because I realized the process spoke to what was going on in my head at the time.
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| Acceptance 16x20 Acrylic on Canvas |
This piece is about acceptance - who I am, where I’ve been and where I am now. And probably most importantly for my head, acceptance that I am NOT the sum of my mistakes and failures – these things do not rule me. When I come before my Lord with a repentant heart, I am set free.
It has been said to me “history is the best predictor of the future”; I didn’t like it much because honestly it seemed to me a way for the person to point out my defects and hold them against me. I’ve had time to think about that saying and I’ve decided I like it – a lot. I would have been wise to keep this in mind long ago, not because I will never be more than my mistakes (if that’s the case then why bother with the cross and the whole Jesus/salvation thing?) but because it reminds me that without daily choosing to submit to God and his will for my life I will repeat my history, without acknowledging my weaknesses I will never be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit which gives me the courage and strength to enact change. I accept that I am guilty of many hurtful words and actions. I accept there will be times of growth and times I will fall again - only with God’s grace will I stand. I accept that God is writing a new story in me which He is the author of – I just need to walk where He leads.
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